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Breedfreak – The Dog Breed Guide for Normal People with Real Lives, Families, Houses, and Budgets is  a complete guide to picking a dog breed.  While other breed atlases and breed organizations have a financial interest in making sure you think their breed is flawless, we are here to lift the veil and give you the dog breed secrets that all vets, behaviorists, and dog trainers know but are afraid to tell you.

There are no “bad” breeds but there are breeds that will make your life a nightmare if you do not choose wisely.

Each breed entry includes a thorough, extremely biased, and remarkably opinionated breed description; an estimate of what you can expect to spend on your dog (hint: it is more than you think); and a whopping dose of humor to keep you interested. Here is a list of breeds that are included in the book.

In addition to the breed entries there are several background chapters with excruciatingly important information you need to know about selecting a breed including:

  • The basics of picking a dog breed
  • The truth about owning a “tough guy” dog
  • Information about mixed breed dogs that every prospective dog owner should know
  • A guide to the most important congenital health issues in pure bred dogs
  • The truth about health certification including hip dysplasia screening (the truth is out folks)
  • What is REALLY costs to own a dog
  • Which breed thinks like this: “Here comes a little kid, should I bite him in the face or should I let him live a scar free life? Wait, I cannot stop barking. Why am I barking. I think I just bit him. Wait, I just peed. Dammit. I keep peeing all over. Duh.”

This book is not for everyone and comes with a PG-13 rating. If you are OK with with words and phrases like turd and crack baby; and you like your dog breed descriptions with a small dose of crass and a side of humor, you should order your copy today. If you listen to what we have to say  you will save THOUSANDS of dollars in headaches, destroyed furniture, and maybe even a failed marriage. Yup. It’s that good. Buy it today.

Option 1: Get the hard copy: Get the coffee table version from Amazon.com: $39.95

OPTION 2:  Get a digital download: